Dracula Vs. Robots 
  
	(c) 1982 Dead Man Games
  
  		Type 'Start' To Begin
> Start
> Start Start Start

You are Dracula. You are old and useless, sitting in your
one-bedroom apartment overlooking Lower Manhattan.

You have already begun the game!
> Left

You are in Dracula's bathroom. You haven't cleaned in a
very long time. What would company think? Oh, that's right,
no one visits you. Sorry.
> Leave bathroom

You are Dracula. You are old and useless, sitting in your
one-bedroom apartment overlooking Lower Manhattan.
> Leave bedroom

You are in Dracula's bathroom. You haven't cleaned in a
very long time. What would company think? Oh, that's right,
no one visits you. Sorry.
> Jump out window

There is no window here.
> Turn on bathtub

You look in vain for an 'on' switch, and are distressed to
find only knobs, one marked 'H' and one marked 'C.'
> Leave bathroom

You are Dracula. You are old and useless, sitting in your
one-bedroom apartment overlooking Lower Manhattan.
> Jump out window

You back up for a running start, sprint toward your window,
jump, and smack right into the double-paned glass. You are
laying on the ground. Your nose is bleeding.

You hear footsteps outside.
> Stand up

You are Dracula. You are old and useless, standing in your
one-bedroom apartment overlooking Lower Manhattan.
> Go to door

There is no need, the door is easily accessible from where
you stand.

The footsteps grow louder.
> My apartment sucks
> Open door

I'm sorry, I don't understand that command.
You open the door. Outside you see a dimly-lit hallway.
> Walk into hallway

You are in a dimly-lit hallway. To the north are doors
leading to this building's other occupants. To the south
are doors leading to this building's other occupants.

The footsteps are very loud now, as if surrounding you.
> Scream like a girl

You scream like a girl. The footsteps stop, inquisitively.
A neighbor opens her door, and asks you to keep the noise
down.
> Walk north
> I'm fucking Dracula. Hiss

You are in a dimly lit hallway.
You hiss at no one in particular.
> Stand

You are already standing.
> Sit

You are sitting. You feel the floor's moisture seeping into
your pants, and curse the super once again for not fixing
the pipes.

You hear footsteps coming from behind you.
> Turn around

You are facing south. You are in a dimly lit hallway. Further
south are doors leading to this building's other occupants.
Behind you are doors leading to this building's other
occupants.
> wtf

The footsteps are now so loud that they seem to be a part of you.

I'm sorry I do not understand 'wtf.'
> This game fucking sucks
> I want to shoot something

Dracula! Did your mother teach you that language?
> Shoot at footsteps

You have no gun.
> Knife the bitch

There is no bitch in eyesight. Also you have no knife.
The lights in the dimly-lit hallway go out.
> Stand

The footsteps reverberate through your body.
You are standing in a non-lit hallway. You don't know what's
around you.

You feel a metallic hand on your shoulder.
> Hiss

You hiss at the hand on your shoulder. It does not move.
You hear a voice. "Say, mac, you Dracula?"
> I'm fucking Dracula

The voice sounds taken aback. "Oh, sorry sir, I had no idea.
Well, listen, tell your, er, boyfriend that the robots came
looking for him. Do you know when he might be back?"
> Claw metallic hand

You claw at the metallic hand, feebly, teary-eyed and
desperate. The robot does nothing.
"...right. Well, listen, we're scheduled to do battle with
Dracula. Some kind of promotional event, you understand. If
you see him, let him know that the robots are in the lobby
waiting for him."
> Go to lobby

There is no lobby here.
> God damn it. I'm Dracula.
> Turn into bat

I don't understand command 'God.'
You are now a bat.
> Fly north

You are in a non-lit hallway. You see nothing. Your bat radar
senses an elevator further north.
> Fly to elevator

You are hovering in the air, looking at a cranky old elevator.
This thing has frightened you ever since you moved into this
building. And you're Dracula, so that's saying a lot.
> Look for stairs

You see nothing.
> Press elevator button

You fly at an odd angle, attempting desperately to maneuver
your wing into a position to press the elevator button. You
miss, continually, and manage to break your wing. You fall to the ground.

Your consciousness begins to fade. You hear the robots speaking.

"Yeah, I don't know man, they said he was scheduled to be here.
Look, it says right on the paper, 'Meet Dracula at 2pm.' see?"

A robot steps on your frail bat body, on its way to the
elevator.

You have died.

Restore/Restart/Quit?